Talk:Donald Trump 2000 presidential campaign/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Carbrera (talk · contribs) 22:00, 4 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, I am Carbrera, and I'll be reviewing this article for possible good article submission.

Full review coming very soon. Carbrera (talk) 22:00, 4 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

Paragraph 1

Insert a comma before and after "Donald Trump of New York".

Not done. This is a restrictive appositive. There are many real estate magnates and I am talking about this specific one.

Insert a comma after "Industrialist".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Insert a comma after "paleoconservative commentator".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Paragraph 2

Insert a comma before and after "Oprah Winfrey".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Insert a comma before and after "Melania Knauss".

Done.

Insert a comma before and after "Roger Stone".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Paragraph 3

Insert a comma after "2012 presidential election".

Not done. Not an independent clause.

Insert a comma after "Four years later".

Done.

Background

Paragraph 1

Insert a comma after "Republican political organizer".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Insert a comma before and after "Richard Nixon".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Paragraph 2

Insert a comma before and after "Chris Wallace".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Think perhaps of exchanging "foray" for a different word that suits better.

I changed it to "prior exploration into presidential politics"

Insert a comma after "presidential nominee".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Insert a comma after "run for president".

Not done. Not an independent clause.

Insert a comma after "Colorado Governor".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Insert a comma before and after "Jesse Ventura".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Insert a comma before and after "Jack Gargan".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Insert a comma before and after "Russ Verney".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Replace "not to stand" with "not to run".

Not done. "Run" is being overused in the article as it is. "Stand for re-election" is common phrasing.

Insert a comma after "wrestling aficionado".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Early stages

Paragraph 1

Insert a comma before and after "Dave Shiflett".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Insert a comma after "name recognition".

Done.

Insert a comma before and after "Roger Stone".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Paragraph 2

Insert a comma after "Days later".

Done.

Perhaps replace "purportedly" with "allegedly"; it sounds better.

Not done. "Allegedly" is used in the previous sentence.

Insert a comma after "if the party nominated him".

Done.

Insert a comma before and after "Pat Buchanan".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Insert a comma after "According to columnist".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Paragraph 3

Announcement

Paragraph 1

Replace "but wished use" with "but wished to use".

Done.

Insert a comma before and after "Buchanan".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Paragraph 3

Insert a comma before and after "Harrison Hickman".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Primary campaign

Paragraph 3

Insert a comma after "contest with Trump".

Not done. Not an independent clause.

Insert a comma after "vice presidential nominee".

Done.

Insert a comma after "On Fox News Sunday".

Done.

Insert a comma before and after Charlene Barshefsky".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

November 1999

Paragraph 1

Insert a comma after "Tax attorney".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Reword "writing in the San Francisco Chronicle argued that many" to "wrote in the San Francisco Chronicle, arguing that many".

Emphasis is on the argument being made rather than the writing itself.

Paragraph 2

Insert a comma before and after "Dick Morris".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Insert a comma before and after "Ed Rollins".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Insert a comma after "political consultant".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Replace "As an further step" with "As a further step".

Done.

Insert a comma before and after "Phil Madsen".

Done.

December 1999

Paragraph 1

Insert a comma before and after "William M. Daley".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Change "meeting of 100" to "meet of one hundred".

Done

Paragraph 3

Insert a comma before and after "Jack Gargan".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

January 2000

Paragraph 1

Insert a comma after "policy proposals".

Done.

Insert a comma after "Florida governor".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Insert a comma after "New York governor".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Insert a comma after "baseball player".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Insert a comma after "entertainer".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Insert a comma after "condemns Congressman".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Insert a comma before and after "Maryanne Trump Barry".

Not done. Restrictive appositive. Trump has more than one sister.

Insert a comma before and after "Bill Bradley".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Paragraph 2

Replace "self-made not part of the" with "self-made and not part of the".

Done.

Insert a comma after "general election".

Not done. Not an independent clause.

Replace "and urging the" with "and urged the".

Not done. It is modifying "released"

Paragraph 3

Insert a comma after "who attended the event".

Done.

Put "including former chairman, Russ Verney" in parentheses.

Done.

Replace "welcoming him into" with "welcomed him into".

Done.

February 2000

Paragraph 1

Insert a comma after "chairmanship of Ventura".

Added hyphen to explain that Gargan was the Ventura-ally and chairman.

Replace "denied Ventura would be part of" with "denied Ventura being apart of".

He did not exclude Ventura but stated a denial.

Omit "to" in-between "and" and "return to its".

Done.

Omit the semi-colon after "David Duke" and instead insert a comma before and after the name.

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Insert a comma after "Ventura's invitation".

Not done. Not an independent clause.

Insert a comma before and after "Steve Schier".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Results

Paragraph 1

Insert a comma before and after "George D. Weber".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Insert a comma before and after "Robert M. Bowman".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Insert a comma before and after "John B. Anderson".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Insert a comma before and after "Charles E. Collins".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Aftermath

Paragraph 1

Insert a comma after "By 2004".

Done.

Insert a comma after "Independent presidential candidate".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Paragraph 2

Insert a comma before and after "Mitt Romney".

Not done. Restrictive appositive.

Paragraph 3

Insert a comma after "Republican in 2016".

Done.

Insert a comma before and after "Pat Buchanan".

Done.

This sentence "Roger Stone, who headed Trump's 2000 presidential committee, served as an adviser for the 2016 campaign until a much publicized split in August 2015" doesn't make any sense. Saying he served as an adviser in 2016 until 2015 doesn't make sense.

"2016" in this context refers to the 2016 election cycle, which began after the 2012 election was held.

Replace "October 2" with "October 2nd".

I changed it to put the year after the month rather than the day.

References

Please double-check and make sure that only one source/reference provides a link to no more than one article; let me know if that makes sense lol
Otherwise looks great!

End of GA Review:

This is by far the strongest article I've ever read for possible GA consideration! I copied and pasted this from Microsoft Word, so I hope I didn't make any (noticeable) mistakes in this review! Let me know if you have any questions as I'll be putting this article on hold for seven days. Good luck and thanks, Carbrera (talk) 04:45, 10 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for the review. I appreciate it.--William S. Saturn (talk) 18:40, 10 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@William S. Saturn: Great job with your work! I just reread it and I would be happy to pass GA for you. Thank you. Carbrera (talk) 22:42, 10 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks. --William S. Saturn (talk) 01:44, 11 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.