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Review

[edit]

Ksudhir01 asked me to review the article. I let AWB make its general style fixes and then I've read it all through and made a few changes.

  • I've tagged a few sentences as unclear.
  • The article is pretty dense. Try reading some of the initial paragraphs aloud.
  • The "Foundational work" section needs one or two lines of introduction to say what the section is trying to do - I think it's trying to organise a collection of references for further reading. There's too much bold text in the section.

-- John of Reading (talk) 10:32, 5 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

This article typifies the Wiki-contradiction: 1,000 junk articles in the computing project, then a user appears out of nowhere, writes something like this, then disappears. A pretty nice first article. No major technical errors at first glance. And a logical and well organized presentation. The user knew what he was doing, for sure.
The section on Foundational work needs expansion and touch up, but is ok for now.
Someone find user:Ksudhir01, get him to write more like this.... History2007 (talk) 00:09, 11 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Great stuff, but the overview reads as rather 'flowery' or editorialized. Perhaps just a best-effort ESL speaker? -69.172.106.148 (talk) 03:46, 18 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Yes, there is need for some copy editing. But the logic of the content is far better than most of the other Wiki-articles on distributed systems. I will try to see where I can leave a note asking for copy editing help. I do not need to work on this article now (except for expanding the last part) because there are other articles that need serious help, but in time may come back to fix the last part. History2007 (talk) 20:17, 22 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

copyedits and other desperate lunges

[edit]

I crushed this thing, removing > 1/3 of the words. It was repetitive and filled with insubstantial sentences. Some things I didn't do that need help:

  1. Ref the stuff that isn't.
  2. Choose node or entity and use it consistently. if they're supposed to mean different things, clarify the difference.
  3. Answer the q's I left inline.
  4. Turn the non-paragraph sections into paragraphs. outlines don't belong in articles.
  5. Turn the ref's into proper cites with isbns and web links.
  6. Separate generic architecture/design stuff from things that are specific to distributed systems. E.g., policy/mechanism, modularity vs transparency.
  7. Focus on distributed OS, not distributed systems in general.