Talk:Darwin rebellion/GA1

GA Review

I have not made a close reading of the prose yet, but there are major issues relating to referencing, and lesser issues relating to images, which need to be cleared up first.

Excellent, thanks for your feedback. I'll start working on the changes over the next 3 or 4 days. Regards, Spy007au (talk) 22:42, 27 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Should be ready for your GA review. Once again, thanks for your feedback and critique. Regards, Spy007au (talk) 11:49, 2 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

References

Ref [9] is to the ADB entry for John Anderson Gilruth. The whole "Dr John A Gilruth" section in the article is quoted verbatim from this source. This is not acceptable. Short verbatim quotes from sources, in quotation marks, are OK, but not lengthy extracts without quote marks. The section should be redrafted, any phrases that you wish to incorporate from the ADB entry being signified by quote marks.

I'll redraft in the next couple of days.Spy007au (talk) 11:59, 29 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I have re-written the section. Should be all OK now. Spy007au (talk) 11:37, 2 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

With regard to ref [12], I suspect (from the prose style) that there may be more verbatim material in the article. I can't check this, as don't have the book, but can I ask you to look at this, reword as necessary and/or put direct quotations into quote marks.

I need to borry the book from the library again, which I'll do in the next 24/48 hours. But from memory there are no direct quotes. I only used (not copied) critical information needed to write the article.Spy007au (talk) 11:59, 29 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed Spy007au (talk) 11:47, 2 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ref [2] does not work Fixed
Ref [4] doesn't support what's in the article Fixed
Ref [15] is another wikipedia article and cannot be used as a source Fixed
What evidence is there that [16] is a reliable source? It cites no sources for the statements that it makes, and reads like a junior school essay. Fixed I have added an additional reliable source to support the statement.
- But you also should remove the dodgy "school essay" source. Brianboulton (talk) 18:07, 28 September 2008 (UTC) Fixed[reply]
Ref [17] is of questionable relevance to the article, since it deals with the present-day situation, not that of 1919. Fixed
Ref [29] is a personal blog. I'm not sure what information in the article it is being cited in support of, but I would doubt its credentials as a relable source. Fixed

Images

The fact that your images are PD in Australia doe not per se make them PD in the US, which is what counts as far as Wikipedia is concerned. This needs to be checked with one of Wikipedia's image experts.
- PS I've checked with the images oracle, and these are all OK - PD for wikipedia purposes. Brianboulton (talk) 10:06, 29 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The following images are all in breach of WP:IUP#Displayed image size. What this means is that you must remove the "250px" or whatever, reducing the images to their thumbnail size (I'll do the first one):-

John_Gilruth_1.jpg

Done

Chinese_Labourers_1.jpg

Done

Vestey's_Meatworks_5.jpg

Done

Victoria_Hotel_2.jpg

Done

Darwin_Rebellion_4.jpg

Done

- - The lead image is not covered by the thumbnail rule, so that can be restored to 280px - I've done this. Brianboulton (talk) 18:10, 28 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The Harold Nelson image needs to be left-aligned, to avoid him facing out of the text. Done

When you have responded on these, I will carry out a full prose review. The GA nom is on hold for seven days. Brianboulton (talk) 18:25, 27 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Final comments

I have spent some considerable time going through the prose. I am sorry to say that at present its standard falls well below that required for a good article. I will give some examples – do not take this as a complete list, but as an indication of the kind of problems which tend to run through the article.

In the Background section the first sentence needs to clarify that until 1911 Northern Territory residents were treated as citizens of South Australia. What you say in the second sentence appears entirely covered by the first. Fixed

Gilruth section: You need to go back to the ADB source and check your chronology, altering the first paragraph of the text accordingly. Fixed

1913 strike section: Some terms need explaining, e.g. "wharf lumpers". You also use the term "unionists" - does his mean trade union members? "Unionists" usually means something entirely different. What is the difference, in this section, between unionists and strikers? Also, you don’t "present terms of surrender". You may request terms. Fixed

In the later sections I noted some highly POV terms, like labourers "taking advantage of the situation" and requesting "outrageous wages". Also, "A conspiracy was uncovered..." Incidentally I think you should refer to "workers" rather than labourers, since this word indicates a particular type of heavy manual worker. Fixed

Aside from the multiple prose issues, some parts of the article are seriously under-referenced. For example, the long second paragraph of the Nationalisation of hotels section needs more than the two citations you have given. Fixed Also, I note that there are 13 references to Frank Alcorta’s book. These need to be separated into pages or short page ranges – you can’t expect people to search through 115 pages of text looking for each reference.

So, finally, I have to say that the article cannot pass GA at present. Against the GA criteria it fails on prose, referencing, and (marginally) on neutrality. It passes on comprehensiveness, stability and images. There is no reason why, with more work and particular attention to the points raised in this review, it should not develop into a good article., but please take some time before renominating. I don't mind looking at it again when you think it is ready. Brianboulton (talk) 12:57, 3 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, I appreciate your time, effort, feedback and critique. I'll work on the article as my spare time allows and will contact you again when I believe its ready. Regards, Spy007au (talk) 22:35, 3 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]