Talk:Connor Michalek/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Prefall (talk · contribs) 12:40, 23 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

This will be my first Good Article review, and this article seems to be a decent enough size for me to work with. I also have a prior understanding of the article's subject. For the sake of full disclosure, I previously contributed a single edit to the article on March 10, 2015, shortly after the nominator created the article.

Criteria

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it well written?
A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:

B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:
Is it verifiable with no original research?
A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:

B. All in-line citations are from reliable sources, including those for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons—science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines:

C. It contains no original research:

D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:

B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):
Is it neutral?
It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:
Is it stable?
It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:
Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?
A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:

B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
Overall:
Pass or Fail:

Opening comments

At first glance, the article and its content looks good. Most of the concerns I will bring up during this review are small and technical details.
Connor's Cure being listed in italics seems odd. Any reasoning behind this? There is also an inconsistency with its heading not being italicized.

Lead and infobox

Spell out and wikilink professional wrestler (rather than simply "wrestler").
Change "stars" to "performers".
"died on April 25, 2014 at the age of eight" — Add a comma at the end of the date per MOS:DATE.
His mother is listed by an additional, unsourced family name in the infobox that is not covered within the body.

Biography

There is an inconsistency with his birth date. The full date is included within the lead and infobox, but only the year is listed in this section. Additionally, the accompanied citation (#1) does not include the birth year or date.
Cite #5 seems to have additional information about his condition, if you think it's worth expanding. Month of diagnosis, development of posterior fossa syndrome, cancer stabilizing and then returning, doctors giving him nearly zero chance of survival.
"Fan" seems to be a common enough term not to be wikilinked.
"Spell out and wikilink professional wrestler (rather than simply "wrestler").
"Michalek met Bryan during a WWE Raw event at Pittsburgh's Consol Energy Center on December 18, 2012." — The accompanied citation (#6) does not mention Raw nor the arena.
"Bryan met Michalek again" — "They met again" should suffice.
"WWE announcer Justin Roberts" — Change "announcer" to "ring announcer" (more on this later).
"WWE invited Michalek into the ring and he proceeded to score a pinfall victory over Triple H" — Obviously it's not a real match, but the phrasing is still awkward. Maybe "WWE invited Michalek into the ring and had him playfully score a pinfall victory over Paul Levesque ("Triple H")".
I think an additional date, or any acknowledgement of the relative time between WrestleMania XXX and his death would be beneficial here. It all happened within three weeks.
"On April 25, 2014, Michalek died at 8 years old in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania." — The date and place of his death are not specified in the accompanied cite (#20). When replaced, change to "On April 25, 2014, Michalek died in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, at eight years old." (Or something similar, depending on your stance to the note above.)

Posthumous WWE Hall of Famer

"Following Michalek's death WWE released a video..." — Add a comma after "death".
Would "personnel" make more sense here rather than "employees"?
"...named after The Ultimate Warrior..." — I think this bit can be cut, as it is already covered in the following sentence.
"His father Steve and brother Jackson accepted the award on his behalf. The induction made Michalek the youngest WWE Hall of Famer at age eight, though the WWE Hall of Fame website doesn't recognize him." — Both sentences are unsourced. Avoid contraction on "doesn't". His father and brother's names can be cut here, as they are already covered in the section above.
"Justin Roberts, WWE's former ring announcer," — As he and his occupation are already covered in the initial section, the wikilink and occupation can be cut.
As Triple H is mentioned in the initial section, the wikilink from his name can be removed. His ring name in parenthesis can also be removed if you'd like. I don't mind either way, but it should remain consistent (more on this later).
Add "US" before "$1.5 million" per MOS:CURRENCY.
Wikilink Susan G. Komen.
The "Wrestling Observer Newsletter" link is broken; it links to a non-existent subsection in Meltzer's article. Fix target link to Wrestling Observer Newsletter.
The "response" subsection in general adheres to a neutral point of view and is handled very well. Good job.

Connor's Cure

As Triple H and Stephanie McMahon are already mentioned in the preceding sections, the wikilinks from their names can be removed. As mentioned before, maintain consistency with the handling of Triple H's name in whichever way you see fit.
Change "October 2015" to "September 2015" per accompanied cite (#20).
"and in doing so, added a gold color scheme to the sets and ring ropes, while also adding Connor's Cure logos to the set, and offering Connor's Cure merchandise on WWEShop.com, with the proceeds going to the charity. — None of this is supported by the accompanied cite (#20); it just talks about donating $1 for every gold Twitter photo. If a replacement citation is found, I think "sets" needs to be explained differently as well. Maybe to "their arena stage" or something similar.
"WWE announced a partnership" — Trim to "WWE partnered" or "WWE entered into a multi-year partnership".

Awards and accomplishments

Would it make more sense to link "Warrior Award" to the subsection WWE Hall of Fame#Warrior Award?

References

There are some inconsistencies:
- Date formats. Some references use MDY and others DMY. The format should also be consistent with that used within the body, which is MDY currently.
- Publisher/website formatting. One reference uses "Pro Wrestling Torch" as publisher while others say "PWTorch.com" as website. Also "pwinsider.com" vs. "PWInsider.com".
#1 — Missing author details.
#2 — Missing author details.
#5 — Date is October 10, not 11.
#8 — Add "The" to "Washington Post" wikilink.
#11 — Broken link.
#12 — Missing date.
#13 — Missing date.
#14 — Missing date and publisher (Medium).
#15 — Missing date.
#16 — Missing date.
#17 — Broken link, missing date.

Images

The source link on File:Connor Michalek.jpg is broken.

Follow-up

The now-removed birth date is still present in the infobox.
Additionally, the now-removed death place is still present in the infobox.
You seem to have accidentally removed the parents names from the Biography section in this edit.
"Michalek developed medulloblastoma when he was three years old in September 2009." — Shift wording around to "Michalek developed medulloblastoma in September 2009, when he was three years old."
Fix dab link of posterior fossa syndrome to target PHACES Syndrome.
"Michalek met Bryan on December 18, 2012. They met again on October 7, 2013, when Raw was in Pittsburgh." — Trim to "Michalek met Bryan on December 18, 2012, and again on October 7, 2013, when WWE held events in Pittsburgh." This is to keep it brief and not seem so repetitive.
A bigger recommendation here...:

"Before the Raw preceding WrestleMania XXX, WWE invited Michalek into the ring and had him playfully score a pinfall victory over Paul Levesque ("Triple H"). Michalek attended the WrestleMania XXX festivities and was in the front row to see Bryan win the WWE World Heavyweight Championship in the WrestleMania main event April 6, 2014. Bryan embraced Michalek immediately following his victory."

Change to:

"Upon learning that Michalek had little time to live, WWE invited him to attend the WrestleMania XXX festitivites. [new sentence cited with #1 and this Op-Ed from Huffington Post by Stephanie McMahon] Before their Raw event in the week prior to WrestleMania, they had Michalek perform a ring entrance with Bryan and playfully score a pinfall victory over Paul Levesque ("Triple H"), while WWE performers cheered him on. During WrestleMania XXX on April 6, 2014, Michalek was in the front row to see Bryan win the WWE World Heavyweight Championship in the main event. Bryan embraced Michalek immediately following his victory."

I think the additional context and rewording will improve article flow and the understanding of the accommodations. If you agree, feel free to adjust the wording as you see fit.

"On April 25, 2014, Michalek died at 8 years old." — Change to "On April 25, 2014, Michalek died at the age of eight."

Comments

None of my concerns seem large enough that they cannot be addressed within a decent amount of time. Overall I'm happy with the article and in seeing such a heartwarming subject given recognition. Prefall 12:40, 23 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Very prompt and thorough review! I've completed what you've suggested with some exceptions:

I can't find a reliable birthday source. The birth year comes from the WWE tribute video (now sourced) but I can't find the birth day and month. There is one listed at find a grave but I don't think they're reliable. This issue is the one reason that kept me from nominating this before but after seeing Espanto I at GA status under similar circumstances, I don't think this is disqualifying.
The local Pennsylvania media sources and WWE.com don't have author's names for some reason so I wasn't able to add them.
Removed the paragraph including the "gold sets" bit. I could only find a wrestleview (marginally reliable in the first place) article that mentioned it but the article was pasted from a WWE press release promotion their campaign.
Also removed the "youngest HOFer" trivia. No source and Warrior Award winners status as full blown HOFers is unclear. That's an issue for another article though.
Thanks again!LM2000 (talk) 08:55, 24 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Great work. I agree with your assessments here. I do have some follow-up points and a couple additional points after re-reading the article and some of the sources. (see "Follow-up" section above.) Prefall 09:27, 24 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

All done. Great recommendations!LM2000 (talk) 10:52, 24 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Everything seems to be in order now. Great work, again, and quick too! Congrats. Prefall 15:58, 24 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]