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I have made the edits suggested below.


Regards,

Ann

Voodoo PR Manager —Preceding unsigned comment added by Afinnie (talkcontribs) 01:25, 9 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]


I am the PR manager for the HP Voodoo team, and would like to propose the following edits in order to make the article on the HP Blackbird 002 computer more scholarly in tone, improve readability and remove some of the positive/negative bias introduced by some of the contributors.
Introduction:

Addition: “Since it launched in September 2007,” the Blackbird 002 has won ...
Addition: including “one from” C-NET, which ...
Deletion: “It received similar reviews from other review magazines and web sites.”
Deletion: “The Blackbird 002 is also the first PC to include the nVidia Geforce 9800 GT Video card, which has still yet to be disclosed to the public or even released to the public.”


Performance and design:

Deletion: “The Blackbird’s chassis, with fins on top that look like an accordion, and along with every other element of the system were designed to contribute to both its dynamic look and extreme performance.”
Deletion: Built “exclusively” with industry standard ...


Aluminum chassis and foot:

Deletion: “most striking feature is its”
Deletion: “, which”


Liquid cooling and thermals:

Deletion: The HP Blackbird 002 “is the first in its class to feature”
Addition: ‘features” full system ...


Tool-less architecture:

Addition: All of the “internal” components of ...
Deletion: “, from the CPU and GPU to the hard drives,”
Addition: without tools “via a” removable side panel
Deletion: “. The”
Deletion: “allows quick and easy access to the interior of the system.”


Reviews and awards:

Addition: CPU Magazine “gave it” 4 out of 5


Criticism and issues:

Deletion: “Another complaint has been that the unit comes with a skimpy one year parts and labor warranty, unusual given its steep price tag.”
Edit: “Exhilaration Edition” (spelling error) —Preceding unsigned comment added by AFinnie HP (talkcontribs) 01:56, 28 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

i am still working on pros and cons. There are sometimes more pros then cons. That doesent meen i am advertising it. Just becouse its true that it is one of the fastest and has won many awards does not mean its an ad. More time would be great.

How do i stay nuetrel when the company that is nuetrel PC MAG says it has no problems. Do you want me to lie???


CAN SOMEONE HELP ME SEE WHAT NEEDS TO BE CHANGED —Preceding unsigned comment added by Mutuan (talkcontribs) 21:16, 5 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]


is it beter now ? Thank you for the help. --Mutuan (talk) 04:11, 6 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Hello,

There are a few things that I'd like to bring to attention:

  • "The Blackbird 002 is considerably costlier than other high-end PCs." There is an article in Games or Windows about the Ultimate Gaming Machine that quotes the Falcon at $12,000.
  • "Another complaint has been that the unit comes with a skimpy one year parts and labor warranty, unusual given its steep price tag." Is there a citation for this?
  • "The Blackbird is also competing with more dedicated gaming companies such as Alienware and Falcon Northwest." How is Alienware and Falcon more dedicated? Is there a citation?
  • "Many buyers had problems during the first weeks of this computers release. There have also been reports of slow replacement parts, and small out of the box issues." Are there any citations or references to this statement?

If there are no references or citations to any of these, could I please remove?

I also edited the summary section because there is incorrect information regarding the timeline of the Blackbird 002 and the acqusition of VoodooPC.

Thank you! Sfan highroad (talk) 23:57, 3 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

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