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GA Review

[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Bobbychan193 (talk · contribs) 14:54, 12 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Hey there! I'll be reviewing this article over the next few days. Please be patient, and let me know if you have any questions or concerns. (Side note: recently finished watching the first three seasons, so this will be fun.) Bobbychan193 (talk) 14:54, 12 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

R.I.P Chuck. The Optimistic One (talk) 20:06, 25 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

[edit]
  • "Better Call Saul is a spin-off of Breaking Bad created by Vince Gilligan and Peter Gould who also worked on Breaking Bad" can we rephrase this sentence for flow and to reduce ambiguity? The reader won't know if it's just Gould who worked on BB, or both of them. Let's say: "A spin-off of Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul was created by Vince Gilligan and Peter Gould, both of whom also worked on Breaking Bad"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 01:49, 21 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The third seasons plot starts off right after the end of the second season, which took place in late 2002, by the time the season concludes, the year is 2003." This sentence is awkward and has poor grammar. Change to "The third season immediately follows the events of the second season, which took place in late 2002. The year is 2003 by the third season's conclusion."
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 01:49, 21 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "sibling-feud" sibling is unnecessary; delete
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 01:49, 21 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "disbarred" add direct link (will redirect to disbarment)
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 01:49, 21 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "plotting trying to murder" delete "trying"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 01:49, 21 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "It received eight nominations for the 69th Primetime Emmy Awards, and 69th Primetime Creative Arts Emmy Awards, including Outstanding Drama Series" grammatically incorrect (extra comma after first "Awards"); but don't just delete, make sure to reduce ambiguity (8 noms total, or just for the first one?)
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 09:49, 21 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Infobox: what does "Region 1 home media" mean? Clarify
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 09:49, 21 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Prose

[edit]

Overall reminders and comments

[edit]
  • Make sure there aren't any duplicate Wikilinks (you can have one link in the lead and one link in the body, as well as additional links in infoboxes, image captions, tables, etc.; see MOS:DL for more information)
  • Be consistent: American/British English, serial comma/no serial comma, etc.
  • Use templates to your advantage: {{convert}}, {{as of}}, {{US$}}, etc.

Production

[edit]
  • Re-link Better Call Saul, Breaking Bad, AMC (per MOS:DL)
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 20:07, 22 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "universe saying," change to "universe, saying:"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 20:07, 22 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • The quote is rather long, so either convert the entire quote into a blockquote, or use the {{quote}} template
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 20:07, 22 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Change all "curly" apostrophes to straight ones (per MOS:CURLY). You can use "Replace All" for convenience
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 20:07, 22 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Link first instance of Bob Odenkirk, remove the later link
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 20:07, 22 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "the show's version" change to "the Better Call Saul version"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 20:07, 22 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "the original show" change to "the Breaking Bad version"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 20:23, 22 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Add a comma before "describing"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 20:23, 22 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • The next paragraph needs at least one citation
  • "members returns" change to "members return"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 20:23, 22 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In the first scene from the first episode of the season" change to "In the first scene of the season's first episode"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 20:23, 22 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Jimmy/Saul" delete "/Saul"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 20:23, 22 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "in an Omaha, Nebraska shopping mall" change to "in a shopping mall in Omaha, Nebraska"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 20:23, 22 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Cast and characters

[edit]
  • This section has embedded lists, so don't worry about deleting duplicate links.
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 23:52, 22 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "a lawyer, who is involved in a sibling-feud with his brother Chuck" delete comma; delete "sibling-"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 23:52, 22 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "who is engaged" change to "a former Philadelphia police officer, who is engaged" (link Philadelphia)
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 23:52, 22 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Jimmy's close friend and lover who sets up a law firm with him" change to "a lawyer and Jimmy's close friend and lover, who co-founds a law firm with him"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 20:40, 23 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Hamlin, Hamlin & McGill" add "(HHM)" after
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 20:40, 23 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "forcing him to stay indoors permanently" clearly not the case in this season; change to "compelling him to avoid sources of electricity"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 20:40, 23 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "and leader" change to "and the leader"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 01:05, 24 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Gus'" change to "Gus's"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 20:40, 23 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • (Optional) Link "veterinarian" and "car restoration"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 01:05, 24 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Link "New Mexico Bar Association" and "Cicero, Illinois"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 01:05, 24 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "a friend of Jimmy's" change to "Jimmy's friend"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 01:05, 24 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "small-time drug dealer" add period
Period? The Optimistic One (talk) 01:05, 24 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Yes, a period or full stop. The punctuation mark. Bobbychan193 (talk) 01:15, 24 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 01:42, 24 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Episodes 1–3

[edit]
  • "points out to security guards and police a shoplifter hiding in a mall photo booth" this is pretty wordy and has some excessive details; try to cut down
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 17:14, 26 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Mike completely dismantles his station wagon without finding anything until finally he finds a tracking device in the gas cap" change to "Mike completely dismantles his station wagon until finding a tracking device in the gas cap"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 17:14, 26 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "He sees someone replace his gas cap, thinking he's picked up the tracker with the dead battery. He's carrying the tracker Mike installed, which enables Mike to find out where the person who switches trackers takes the ones he removes." change to "He sees someone replace his gas cap. The man, thinking he's picked up the tracker with the dead battery, is actually carrying the tracker Mike installed, which enables Mike to find out where he takes the tracker."
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 05:27, 30 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Mike notices Victor leave, and the tracking device from Mike's car is again active, so Mike follows him" change to "Mike notices Victor leave and follows him using a tracking device of his own"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 05:27, 30 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Gus and Mike agree that Gus will stop tracking Mike and Mike will not kill Hector" change to "Gus meets Mike, and they agree that Gus will stop tracking Mike and Mike will not kill Hector"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 17:29, 26 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "the Salamanca drivers" change to "Hector's drivers" for consistency
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 17:29, 26 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "the border from Mexico" change to "the Mexican border"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 17:29, 26 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "alerted and" add comma in between
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 17:29, 26 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "break in" hyphenate (two instances)
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 17:29, 26 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Jimmy tells Kim" change to "Jimmy tells Kim that"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 17:29, 26 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Episodes 4–6

[edit]
  • "Mike refuses" is Mike refusing to do the job, or did he already do the job and is refusing to take the money? Clarify. For example, if the latter, change to "Mike rejects the money"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 02:43, 7 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "use the repair of Chuck's door as cover to photograph the interior of Chuck's house and document his bizarre living conditions" too wordy; cut down
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 02:43, 7 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Gus lets Mike know he's interested in hiring him and Mike says he might be interested" change to "Gus informs Mike he's interested in hiring him, and Mike says he might be interested"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 08:49, 8 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Chuck and the prosecutor" missing serial comma
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 06:18, 8 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "their plan" ambiguous; clarify
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 09:33, 6 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "cell phone and" change to "cell phone, and"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 06:18, 8 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "so, so" change to "so, and"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 06:18, 8 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "is prepared for Chuck by having the lights turned off and electronic devices removed" change to "prepares for Chuck by turning off the lights and removing all electronic devices"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 08:49, 8 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Jimmy has his cell phone in his pocket" change to "Jimmy is carrying his cell phone"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 12:10, 15 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Spell out contractions
I think this has been done already. The Optimistic One (talk) 20:01, 24 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "warehouse and" change to "warehouse, and"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 11:49, 21 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "kilos" just change this to "packages" to avoid confusion
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 20:01, 24 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Tuco was in a prison fight that will extend his sentence" change to "Tuco's sentence will be extended following a prison fight"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 12:01, 31 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Link angina and nitroglycerin
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 12:01, 31 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Jimmy attempts to recoup the money he spent in advance for TV commercials by filming advertisements for other businesses, in which he uses the alias Saul Goodman" awkward wording; reword
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 12:48, 16 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Episodes 7–10

[edit]
  • "Jimmy tries unsuccessfully to sell the TV ad time for which he's already paid" change to "Jimmy unsuccessful tries to sell the TV ad time he already paid for"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 13:23, 6 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "nitroglycerin capsule he stole from Hector and asks Daniel to obtain him empty, unsealed lookalikes" change to "nitroglycerin capsule he stole and asks Daniel to obtain identical empty and unsealed capsules"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 15:31, 5 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "praise's" remove apostrophe
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 12:57, 9 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Nacho tells Mike ..." this sentence is too long. Delete this part: "so the Salamancas can stop having their drugs smuggled in Gus's trucks"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 12:57, 9 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "and Nacho's plan" change to "and reveals his own plan" (Split the sentence here if you feel that it's still too long)
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 12:57, 9 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "chances" remove s
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 12:57, 9 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "remnants" probably not the best word here. Try something like "the abandoned McGills' Cicero store"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 15:54, 11 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "and he's able" change to "and becomes able"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 15:54, 11 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Jimmy's guitar store clients refuse to pay so he stages a slip and fall accident" change to "Two of Jimmy's clients refuse to pay, so he stages an accident"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 14:50, 5 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "repay the balance of her law school loan" delete "the balance of"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 12:53, 16 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "makes" change to "earns"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 13:03, 16 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "a drug dealer" is this mentioned in the episode? I don't recall him being a drug dealer
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 13:03, 16 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "nitro" delete
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 12:53, 16 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Jimmy gets" change to "Jimmy receives"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 12:58, 23 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "he'll" spell out ("he will")
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 12:58, 23 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Mike is contracted" change to "Linda arranges for Mike to be contracted"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 13:04, 23 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "generate" change to "earn"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 13:04, 23 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "wishes so" missing comma
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 13:04, 23 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "share – more" change to "share of more"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 23:14, 27 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Chuck is forced from HHM" ambiguous; clarify
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 23:18, 27 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Hector bribes Manuel to allow use of his business as a drug front and Manuel reluctantly accepts" change to "Hector bribes Manuel to use his business as a drug front, and Manuel reluctantly accepts"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 14:57, 5 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Chuck's EHS symptoms re-emerge, he destroys his home's interior, and then intentionally knocks over a gas lantern, setting a fire" change to "Chuck's EHS symptoms begin to re-emerge, causing him to destroy his home's interior. He then intentionally knocks over a gas lantern, setting a fire"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 14:57, 5 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Talking Saul and reception

[edit]
  • Why is the link linked to a Season 2 section?
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 08:38, 8 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Add serial commas
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 08:38, 8 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 12:08, 31 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "particularly for the character development of Jimmy McGill, and McKean's performance as Chuck" change to "particularly for McKean's performance as Chuck and the character development of Jimmy McGill"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 20:23, 5 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Delete duplicate link
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 20:38, 5 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Link Rotten Tomatoes and Metacritic
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 20:38, 5 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "consensus is," change comma to colon
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 20:38, 5 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "100, based" delete comma
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 20:38, 5 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "gave" change to "rated"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 20:38, 5 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "giving praise to Jimmy's character development, stating," change to "praising Jimmy's character development and saying,"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 13:20, 6 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Change the cross symbol used in the Notes section to a letter. Use {{efn}} or a similar template.
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 13:20, 6 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Can we have citations in a separate column instead of in the leftmost column? See this table as an example.
I tried to do that, but I'm not let do it. The Optimistic One (talk) 13:20, 6 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Missing serial comma near the bottom of the table
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 13:20, 6 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Plot and home media

[edit]
  • Why is this section titled "Plot"? The plots of each episode are already listed elsewhere in the article. Would it make more sense to re-title it "Significance" or something?
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 12:30, 27 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Put the period outside quotes (per MOS:LQ)
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 12:30, 27 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "After forcing Jimmy away, Chuck's EHS symptoms" Grammatically, this sounds like Chuck's EHS symptoms forced Jimmy away. Reword to something like "After Chuck forces Jimmy away, his EHS symptoms"
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 12:41, 27 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "the gas lantern" change to "a gas lantern"
 DoneThe Optimistic One (talk) 12:41, 27 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "setting fire to his house, while he is still inside" delete unneeded comma after "house"; also split the paragraph after this sentence
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 12:41, 27 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "After this scene" add comma
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 12:41, 27 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "McKean said," change comma to colon
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 12:41, 27 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "region 1" link (similar to infobox caption)
 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 12:41, 27 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Citations

[edit]
  • Citations look good. No errors, and every cite has a title, website, etc.

Discussion

[edit]

I just seen this now. Worked on a few, will get around to the rest soon. Cheers for the helpful information. The Optimistic One (talk) 01:49, 21 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

I've done some minor copy editing. Will continue the review shortly. Bobbychan193 (talk) 21:48, 21 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

@The Optimistic One: Good work so far. I've been pretty busy recently; will continue the review when I have time. Bobbychan193 (talk) 00:53, 2 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

No worries, take your time. The Optimistic One (talk) 02:11, 2 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
@The Optimistic One: Just added a round of comments, will return later to finish the review. Bobbychan193 (talk) 23:22, 5 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
@Bobbychan193: Nearly finished. The Optimistic One (talk) 13:04, 16 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
@The Optimistic One: Well done so far. I'm going to be busy for the next few days, but I'll finish up the review as soon as I can. In the meantime, there's just a few more bulletpoints left that you can try to resolve. Bobbychan193 (talk) 20:05, 16 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

(←) @The Optimistic One: I've finished the review. Ping me when you're done resolving all the comments, and I'll be happy to pass the GA. Bobbychan193 (talk) 05:40, 27 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Bobbychan193: I have now completed the review. The Optimistic One (talk) 15:33, 5 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
@The Optimistic One: I think there are two comments you missed. One is about clarifying ambiguity in the Episode 4–6 section. The other is about a missing citation, and if it’s not possible for you to do that given your situation, then don’t worry about it for now (but do try to do it at your earliest convenience). I’ll pass the GA after you resolve one or both comments. Bobbychan193 (talk) 21:53, 5 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
@Bobbychan193: I already addressed the part about missing citations above. I must have forgotten to do the other one though. I have now done it. The Optimistic One (talk) 09:31, 6 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Okay. Great work. Happy to pass the GA. Bobbychan193 (talk) 17:16, 6 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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