Talk:Be More/GA1
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Reviewer: Ruby2010 (talk · contribs) 02:57, 12 June 2014 (UTC)
I shall review this, hopefully within the next few days. Thanks, Ruby 2010/2013 02:57, 12 June 2014 (UTC)
- It is reasonably well written.
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- Pass/Fail:
- Comments
- Link storyboarding
- The lead mentions BMO without explaining who he is (like you did for the others). Consider adding brief blurb about him?
- No need to link Tompkins and McCann twice in lead; in fact, you can just remove the second mention of them (in the second paragraph)
- Removed!--Gen. Quon (Talk) 04:28, 20 June 2014 (UTC)
- What makes this a reliable source? I've never heard of the site before.
- It's a Q&A-type site. The person I'm citing, "MrMuto", is Adam Muto, the show's co-executive producer. He answers fan questions about aspects of the show through the site.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 04:28, 20 June 2014 (UTC)
- And is "For unknown reasons," your interpretation or the source's? (I'm having trouble accessing it).
- I just removed it, since I could see how it was close to POV.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 04:28, 20 June 2014 (UTC)
- I know I inevitably ask this for many Adventure Time episodes, but aren't there any other reviews you can use? Does IGN review the show? Or EW? io9?
- It's kind of spotty. More recent episodes have been reviewed by io9, but not this one. Only A.V. Club did it, as of now.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 04:28, 20 June 2014 (UTC)
- "The episode first saw physical release..." -- "Physical" seems odd. Try "commercial release"?
- Fixed.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 04:28, 20 June 2014 (UTC)
- You use "episode" quite a bit in the article, which can make reading it a little boring; could you try sprinkling in other words (such as installment, or just using the episode's title more often?)
- I deleted a few repetitions of the word.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 04:28, 20 June 2014 (UTC)
Will place review on hold for usual 7 days. I'll check back here once you've replied to my comments for a final run-through. Thanks! Ruby 2010/2013 01:36, 20 June 2014 (UTC)
- How do these changes look?--Gen. Quon (Talk) 04:28, 20 June 2014 (UTC)
- Looks good. I did some digging too for anything else on this episode via Google, and nothing really came up. You did a good job exhausting the existing sources. Nice work! Passing now. I'm not sure if AT DVDs include special features on episode production, but that might be a good place to also look). Ruby 2010/2013 01:21, 22 June 2014 (UTC)