Talk:2013 Washington, Illinois tornado/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Nominator: Hoguert (talk · contribs) 19:06, 4 September 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: Sammi Brie (talk · contribs) 16:23, 19 October 2024 (UTC)

Did you know? If you fancy doing so, I always have plenty of GA nominees to review. Just look for the all-uppercase titles in the Television section. Reviews always appreciated.

Copy changes

I would like to flag something at the top here. MOS:GEOCOMMA requires commas after city and state constructions. This article's title should be 2013 Washington, Illinois, tornado. GEOCOMMAs are also needed throughout the article.

General other notes:

• Use {{convert}} for units of measurement. I have implemented this throughout the article to demonstrate.

Lead

• This tornado was one of the two violent tornadoes in the Tornado outbreak of November 17, 2013 and was the strongest, costliest, and longest-tracked tornado Like GEOCOMMAs, there are also MOS:DATECOMMAs. This tornado was one of the two violent tornadoes in the tornado outbreak of November 17, 2013, and was the strongest, costliest, and longest-tracked tornado. This comma is needed even though the sentence structure otherwise does not call for it.
• The intense supercell responsible for the tornado first produced at 10:59 am CDT 2.5 miles (4.0 km) of North Pekin, it crossed I-474, intensifying to a strong EF2 tornado. Comma splice. Change the comma after Pekin to a semicolon.
• fluctuating between EF2-EF3 strength do fluctuating between EF2 and EF3 strength
• As it entered Washington, the tornado became violent as some homes in the Woodridge Trace subdivision were leveled; the tornado continued northeast, destroying an apartment complex and leveling an auto parts store before intensifying to a peak intensity of 190 mph (310 km/h), numerous well-built homes were demolished, rows of houses were leveled and swept away. Break up. Try As it entered Washington, the tornado became violent as some homes in the Woodridge Trace subdivision were leveled; the tornado continued northeast, destroying an apartment complex and leveling an auto parts store before intensifying to a peak intensity of 190 mph (310 km/h). Numerous well-built homes were demolished, and rows of houses were leveled and swept away.
• fluctuating between EF2 to EF3 strength and, not to

Meteorological setup

• The development supercells and later squall lines was anticipated, and was also expected to impact the Mid-Atlantic states.
  • Missing "of" after "development".
  • The comma is unneeded. There is one subject. WP:CINS
• The system associated with those storms was to track eastward and strengthen, as a result, the SPC also issued a Day 3 slight risk earlier on November 15 for a large swath of the Eastern United States in effect for November 17. The first comma should be a semicolon.
• across the United States High Plains Given the context, I think just saying "High Plains" is fine.
• Model data indicated the weakening of the capping inversion coinciding with increasing instability and wind shear, which would lead to the enhanced potential for storms and tornadoes as the night progressed, the low-level jet strengthened. The final comma should be replaced for "and".
• The second half of this section needs some GEOCOMMAs.
• Then at 10:52 am CDT, the supercell produced a strong but short-lived EF2 tornado over at Pekin, the tornado touched down north of State Highway 9, mainly uprooting trees and downing power lines before it crossed the Illinois River.
  • Comma after "then"
  • Split this sentence after "Pekin".
• The tornado made it across the river into the residential side of Pekin. It rapidly strengthened to mid-range EF2 intensity roofs were ripped off of brick homes and an apartment complex suffered significant roof damage. A semicolon is needed after "intensity" and a comma after "homes".
• Afterward, it weakened down, causing EF0-EF1 damage to trees and infrastructures before dissipating, the tornado was on the ground for two minutes and reached a width of 100 yards, no one died but ten people were injured by this tornado as well and $45 million in property damages. Major run-on issues. Try Afterward, it weakened down, causing EF0-EF1 damage to trees and infrastructures before dissipating. The tornado was on the ground for two minutes and reached a width of 100 yards; no one died, but the tornado caused ten injuries and $45 million in property damage.
• After the dissipation of the Pekin tornado, the super-cell quickly recycled and soon dropped the Washington tornado. Needs to be cited.
• It crossed E Reed Road where a home sustained minor roof damages at EF1 strength, a nearby metal building also received some damage to its roof and exterior walls.
  • American English generally requires periods for abbreviations: E., Rd., etc. I'd prefer "Road" spelled out.
  • Replace comma with semicolon.
• The tornado crossed Berta Rd, and along this road, it intensified to an EF2 tornado as a home suffered significant damage, crossing E Spring Rd, the tornado entered a subdivision of homes at mid-range EF2 strength, several homes in this subdivision either sustained partial roof loss, or the second story walls of the home collapsed. Another run-on. Try The tornado crossed Berta Road; along this road, it intensified to an EF2 as a home suffered significant damage. Crossing E. Spring Road, the tornado entered a subdivision of homes at mid-range EF2 strength; several homes in this subdivision either sustained partial roof loss or collapse of second-story walls.
• An RV dealership had numerous vehicles damaged and flipped over, a two-story home had its roof ripped away, portions of the walls collapsed, a model home was shifted off its foundation and a manufactured home lost its roof. Reflow all punctuation: An RV dealership had numerous vehicles damaged and flipped over; a two-story home had its roof ripped away and portions of the walls collapsed; a model home was shifted off its foundation; and a manufactured home lost its roof.
• As the tornado moved northeast approaching I-55, it caused widespread tree damage that occurred near the road, the tornado lifted northwest of Symerton at 12:33 pm CDT. Another comma splice. Split this sentence.

Tornado summary

• "city proper of Washington" should be "city of Washington proper"
• The tornado rapidly intensified to low-end EF4 strength leveling and partially sweeping away a couple of homes along English Oak St in the Woodridge Trace subdivision at 170 mph (270 km/h), Nearby homes suffered major structural damage, an 84-year-old U.S. army veteran suffered severe injuries here and later passed away from his injuries. Reflow punctuation to make this the two sentences it should be. The tornado rapidly intensified to low-end EF4 strengt,h leveling and partially sweeping away a couple of homes along English Oak St in the Woodridge Trace subdivision at 170 mph (270 km/h). Nearby homes suffered major structural damage; an 84-year-old man suffered severe injuries here and later died from his injuries.
  • Is it necessary to say he was a veteran?
  • Avoid "passed away" etc. in favor of "died": MOS:EUPH.
• The tornado intensified further to mid-range EF4 strength as it struck the Georgetown Commons apartment complex along Georgetown Rd, completely destroying the top two stories, other nearby apartment buildings suffered major roof damage, trees were completely blown down, a truck in the parking lot of the apartment complex was lifted and wrapped violently around a tree, further north of the complex along the same road, a Lagondola Spaghetti house sustained severe roof damage from the tornado, due to the heavy structural damage, the sixteen apartment buildings and restaurant were later torn down. (Stopping here for now — will come back later.)