Help:Buying Wikipedia
 | This page contains material that is kept because it is considered humorous. Such material is not meant to be taken seriously. |
Hello there! Are you a government sick and tired of being described as a state sponsor of terrorism? Or an autocratic regime that wishes a few pesky articles would just go away? How about a multinational corporation that could use some nifty advertising? Well, you've come to the right place! As of November 12, 2002, Wikipedia is officially FOR SALE!
That's right! All 6,925,897 articles on English Wikipedia (including this one) could be yours to do with as you please. You could delete rival products, win presidential elections, change national borders, anything at all!
$87,192,908,123,796,583.93
If this sounds expensive, we suggest you purchase immediately, as the price is only going to go up. Don't delay; pay today! Follow these instructions to complete the payment. After these simple steps, it's all yours!
Frequently asked questions
[edit]Q: Why are you selling Wikipedia?
A: Someone told us that we're mean bullies for deleting their talk page. That hurt our feelings, so we're passing on the problem to someone else.
Q: Who can buy it?
A: Anyone! Whether you're an insanely wealthy stock broker with $87,192,908,123,256,583.92 spare cash on hand or a lowly peasant with $87,192,908,123,256,583.93 spare cash on hand, we won't discriminate.
Q: What can I do once I own it?
A: Anything you want, so long as you don't delete the main page.
Q: Won't this sale rob the project of its credibility, its main asset, effectively rendering it worthless?
A: Don't worry about that ;)
Q: Can I buy Wikimedia Foundation too?
A: Well... let me ask them first.
Q: Why is it so expensive?
A: We monopolized the market, we think.
Q: What are you going to do with the money?
A: Very important business and philanthropic stuff, and also buy Jimmy Wales an ivory backscratcher.
The foundation wrote back, they said you can buy them for 10.29182 to the power of 10 dollars.
Q: Are the contributors included?
A: No.